1. |
Real Life
03:25
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i feel like a figure skater waiting for summer time
a non-believer on the lookout for cloud signs
lost in the dictionary entry for real life
i really hope there’s another kind
you keep on leaving to the sound of the landline
getting religious in the shape of the star signs
wish you had told me you were looking for real life
you could’ve asked me for some of mine
my heart is a hypnotist
so i sleep fine
no point in resisting it
it’s a long night
what good is an optimist
if i waste days
thinking up ways
it could all break
and i feel great
we were survivors trapped inside of a gold mine
sensory deprivation making the time fly
i wonder if we could’ve been friends in real life
good thing we only get one try
you’ve been rewatching all your failures in black and white
it’s self-reflection in the shape of a gunfight
wish you had told me you were looking for real life
you could’ve asked me for some of mine
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2. |
Radium (ft. Alex Aller)
03:33
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i’m watching my life with the motion smooth on
it’s supposed to look real but the frame rate’s all wrong
and everyone’s mouth moves a little too fast
i made camp in the uncanny valley i guess
what a mess
and i saw the world from the saltiest trench
said if i’m gonna drown let me drown in suspense
but i think our submarine surfaced too fast
the nitrogen sickness ain’t much like the gas
what a laugh
i think i’ll dig til i hit radium
or whatever might do me some harm
if i’m a cautionary tale
it’s an afterlife after all
now i got the shakes like a priest laying hands
i guess i get dizzy from standing a chance
i see the floor of the church rushing up to my face
and the carpet’s too thin here to soften the pain
what a shame
think i’ll dig til i hit ancient walls
or whatever else makes me feel small
if i’m a footnote on the page
it’s an afterlife after all
but i’m just a kid leaning back in his chair
she’s saying 'that’s not very safe is it dear?'
she warns me 'the legs are gonna snap
and you’ll tumble straight back'
hit my head on the wall
so my vision goes black
and i won’t make it far
past the crowded ER
and my friends will all gather
at some shitty bar
they’ll try to talk about me
but it’s thanksgiving eve
and this place is too loud
and no one wants to scream
so they’ll call it a night
and they’ll catch early flights
maybe think about me
just a couple more times in their life
that’s alright
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3. |
Annie, I'm a Hawk
03:27
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if the past’s a foreign country
we’re still citizens you know
and when i reach across the border now it’s home
and what’s familiar ain’t familiar anymore
if the road was an illusion
why were we sitting in the car
swore i’d been counting mile markers from the start
it turns out distance doesn’t get you very far
is someone keeping you in mind?
holding you hostage every night?
is someone keeping you in mind?
is that what’s keeping you tired all the time?
what a great divide
it really looked like i outgrew you
must be my vision isn’t quite right
we didn’t speak in 2017
and since then once or twice
still seem to hurt each other’s feelings from time to time
at least that’s true for you and mine
i feel like a hostage every night
is that you keeping me in mind?
guess that’s what’s keeping me tired all the time
what a great divide
can you remember being tethered?
yeah me neither, what a crime
so if our different iterations coincide
i hope catharsis takes its time
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4. |
St. Saitta
03:15
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dream journal reads like a dime-store cosmic horror
reviews are pouring in, it’s an insult to the genre
you left to star in your own spinoff, just to ditch the melodrama
well there goes the fucking saga
so long and thanks for all the watercolor bruises
if there’s a plot i’m sure you’ll find a way to lose it
so long and thanks for leaving gardens in the graveyard
i don’t think they’re gonna recast your part
sleep talking about the forties and the fascists
your yearbook’s tinged with off-color jokes about the axis
you could be killing all the standards but you’re always out of practice
hey look a brand new brand of sadness
so long and thanks for all the watercolor bruises
if there’s a plot i’m sure you’ll find a way to lose it
so long and thanks for leaving gardens in the graveyard
kinda hope they don’t recast your part
you were a paper mache parade
and it was always gonna start to rain
but all your colors down the storm drain
painted all of the monsters afraid
i always knew you’d leave beautiful ruins some day
but i can’t find them on the map of my brain
and i can’t find you on the list of patron saints
probably because you were born that way
good thinking taking yourself out of the equation
was it subtraction or simplification?
so long and thanks for the selective synesthesia
guess i’ll call if i need you
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5. |
Stock Footage
03:59
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don’t kid yourself to death
nobody knows you best
if love’s a science after all
it’s anesthesiology
they’re still working out the flaws
we were stock footage from the start
look past the watermarks
if i’m not adding color to your life
keep turning the kaleidoscope
adjust it til it’s right
hey isn’t it neat
we get to choose what we see
is that why you don’t see through me
hey isn’t it fun to pretend there’s just one
and all of the wondering’s done
she’s early on the rent
i’m barely out of bed
if we’re both riddles in the dark
you’re more incomprehensible
but you’re no exploding star
untangling our spines
just keeping track of mine
you said hearts are broken when they’re born
and it’s all a game of solitaire
good thing you’re keeping score
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6. |
||||
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i’m real good at holding still
you can decorate my silhouette how you will
go ahead and hang your paintings on me
i probably won’t feel the nails if they don’t go too deep
i stopped trying to make sense
i’m a bird caught inside an electrified fence
you said why don’t you give those wings a try?
if there’s a moment when nobody’s looking i might
if i make every wish one is bound to come true
there’s no better way to lose
i’m not welcome in my room
i’ve got barbed wire cuts from forcing my way through
now i’ve got no more pride to lose
feel free to deprecate me if it medicates you
but try not to look my dreams in the eye
i can’t vouch for the places my mind goes at night
it’s not that i like to sleep alone
it’s just a devil i know and you’re a devil i don’t
if i tell every lie i’ll know one is the truth
but it won’t look that way to you
i’m not good at walking slow
no i don’t really move without somewhere to go
so i guess i’ll never catch the views
just show me the photos the next time you do
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7. |
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when we were high on our own dialogue
we must’ve heard each other wrong
i know the rent is low inside my head
but you were crowding every bed
now i’m vacant instead
i’m taking this heartache with me
don’t take it too hard
i’m taking this heartache with me
but i’m not going far
did you forgive yourself for living well
after you saw how far i fell
couldn’t pretend there was an end in sight
when you were hopeless you were right
thanks for acting surprised
i’m taking this heartache with me
don’t take it too hard
i’m taking this heartache with me
but i’m not going far
but in the morning in my mind
you’re still making it alright
and then i feel the light
yeah in the morning in my mind
we’ve still got plenty of free time
but that’s another life
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